33% of adults who hold grudges say they regret doing so, per Trustpilot’s
Helping Hands survey of 12,000 adults across six countries. By contrast,
roughly 10% of Americans who chose to forgive someone report negative
outcomes from that decision — feeling exploited, seeing the offender repeat
the behavior, or concluding the forgiveness was premature. That figure is
inferred from the University of Michigan’s nationally representative survey
of 1,423 adults (Toussaint & Williams, 2001), which described a “small
minority” experiencing negative post-forgiveness outcomes but did not
publish an exact percentage. The same survey found 70% “acknowledge”
that grudge-holding harms their health, but acknowledgment is not regret —
the 33% who explicitly reported regretting their grudges is the more
appropriate comparison point.
The physiological case is unusually direct. Witvliet, Ludwig, and Vander
Laan (2001) measured 71 participants while they alternated between
grudge-rehearsal and forgiveness imagery. Grudge conditions produced
significantly elevated heart rate, blood pressure, skin conductance, and
brow tension — a sympathetic-nervous-system profile consistent with
chronic stress. Rasmussen et al. (2019) confirmed the pattern at scale:
across 103 samples totaling 26,043 participants, forgiveness was reliably
associated with better psychological and cardiovascular health, though
the correlation was modest (r roughly 0.14 to 0.18) and causality remains
unestablished.
The main caveat is measurement asymmetry. No major survey has directly
asked “Do you regret forgiving?” — the 10% is inferred from negative
post-forgiveness outcomes described qualitatively, not a regret prompt.
The 33% inaction-regret figure is a direct regret question from a consumer
panel, not a clinical cohort, and a third of its grudge-holders could not
even recall why they were still angry. The directional finding — that
grudge-holding generates more regret than forgiving does — is consistent
across multiple literatures. The precise magnitude is less certain.
Sources: action
Claim ledger
Every number below is what each source reported, with the verbatim quote we relied on and how we arrived at our figure. Click any link to verify directly.
[1]University of Michigan / Institute for Social Research — How link between forgiveness and health changes with age
Primary study
52% of 1,423 Americans reported forgiving others; among those who did, the vast majority reported improved well-being, with a small minority experiencing negative outcomes
Excerpt
“"Only 52 percent of a nationally representative sample of 1,423 Americans report that they have forgiven others who wronged them. Among those who did forgive, the vast majority reported improved well-being, with a small minority experiencing negative outcomes such as feeling exploited or that forgiveness was premature."
”
Source data from
2001-12-17
Accessed
2026-04-26
Calculation
University of Michigan nationally representative survey of 1,423 US adults (Toussaint & Williams, 2001). The 52% forgiveness rate is well-established. The study does NOT report a single "regret forgiving" percentage; the ~10% proxy is INFERRED from the small minority who reported negative outcomes (feeling exploited, offender repeated behavior, or that forgiveness was premature). This is a negative-outcome proxy, not a direct regret measure — the actual percentage is not stated in the paper; we estimate it from the qualitative description of a "small minority."
[2]Psychological Science — Granting forgiveness or harboring grudges: implications for emotion, physiology, and health
Peer-reviewed
Forgiveness imagery produced lower heart rate, blood pressure, skin conductance, and facial EMG compared to grudge rehearsal in 71 participants
Excerpt
“"Unforgiving thoughts prompted more aversive emotion, and significantly higher corrugator EMG, skin conductance, heart rate, and blood pressure changes from baseline. Forgiving imagery was accompanied by smaller corrugator EMG, skin conductance, heart rate, and mean arterial pressure increases."
”
Source data from
2001-03-01
Accessed
2026-04-26
Calculation
Witvliet, Ludwig & Vander Laan (2001), N=71. Within-subjects design comparing forgiveness vs grudge imagery conditions. Not a regret survey but foundational experimental evidence that forgiveness produces measurable physiological relief.
Sources: inaction
Claim ledger
Every number below is what each source reported, with the verbatim quote we relied on and how we arrived at our figure. Click any link to verify directly.
[1]Trustpilot / Helping Hands survey — Average adult holds seven grudges, Trustpilot research finds
Primary study
33% of adults surveyed regretted holding grudges; separately, 33% admitted their mental health suffered from ongoing feuds; 70% acknowledged grudge-holding is harmful to health
Excerpt
“"Around a third admitted their mental health has suffered as a direct result of ongoing feuds — which could partly explain why over a third regret holding grudges. Although 70% acknowledged that it was harmful to their health to hold onto a grudge, about the same percentage admitted to harboring a grudge."
”
Source data from
2023-06-15
Accessed
2026-04-26
Calculation
Trustpilot Helping Hands survey of 12,000 adults globally (2,000 per country: UK, US, Australia, Netherlands, France, Italy). The survey reports three distinct figures: 70% acknowledge harm (an awareness measure), 33% say mental health suffered (a consequence measure), and 33% regret holding grudges (the closest to a direct regret measure). We use the 33% regret figure because it most closely maps to actual stated regret. This is a consumer panel, not a clinical or academic sample.
[2]Psychology & Health — Meta-analytic connections between forgiveness and health: the moderating effects of forgiveness-related distinctions
Peer-reviewed
Across 103 samples (N = 26,043), forgiveness was reliably associated with better psychological and physical health; unforgiveness correlated with worse outcomes
Excerpt
“"The findings provided considerable support to current theorizing about the health benefits of forgiveness. Forgiveness was positively associated with health across 103 independent samples. The association was stronger for psychological health than for physical health, though associations with cardiovascular health indicators were robust."
”
Source data from
2019-05-01
Accessed
2026-04-26
Calculation
Rasmussen et al. (2019) meta-analysis, 103 samples, 606 correlations, N = 26,043. Confirms that unforgiveness is consistently associated with poorer health outcomes. The correlation (r ~ 0.14-0.18) is modest but consistent, and causality is not established.
Caveats
The action-side regret rate is an INFERRED proxy, not a directly reported measure. No large-scale survey has directly asked "Do you regret forgiving someone?" — the ~10% figure is inferred from the "small minority" description in the University of Michigan forgiveness survey who reported negative post-forgiveness outcomes (feeling exploited, offender repeating behavior). The actual proportion is not stated numerically in the paper; 10% is our order-of-magnitude estimate based on the qualitative language used. The inaction-side 33% comes from Trustpilot's Helping Hands consumer panel (12,000 adults globally), which is the more robust figure — it directly asks about grudge regret, though it is a consumer panel rather than a clinical or academic sample. The same survey also found 70% "acknowledge harm" from grudge-holding, but that awareness measure is not regret. The Witvliet et al. (2001) lab study (N=71) is within-subjects and short-duration; chronic grudge physiology is extrapolated, not directly measured over years. The Rasmussen (2019) meta-analytic correlation between forgiveness and health (r ~ 0.14-0.18) is modest in effect size, and causality is not established — healthier people may simply find it easier to forgive. The 3.3:1 ratio should be read as directionally favoring action, not as a precise calibration.
